How to Sleep Train Your Baby

If your baby needs you to rock them to sleep or wakes up in the middle of the night wanting a feed or cuddle before going back to sleep, and they’re at least 4 months old, it might be time to start sleep training. 

At this age, babies should be able to fall asleep or go back to sleep on their own by self-soothing. 

If you’re worried about sleep training, it can often be done quicker than you think and doesn’t necessarily have to involve a lot of crying. Here’s how and when to start sleep training your baby to help everyone get a good night’s sleep.

What is sleep training?

Sleep training is all about teaching your baby to fall asleep on their own. This means putting them down for bed when sleepy but still awake and letting them drift off without being rocked, swayed, cuddled, nursed, or shushed. It also helps them learn how to fall back asleep when they wake up during the night, which is totally normal for both babies and adults.

What sleep training isn’t

Sleep training and night weaning aren’t always linked. You can still feed your baby once or twice during the night, depending on their age. Check with your paediatrician about when it’s okay to stop nighttime feeds completely.

Sleep training isn’t as tough as it sounds. It doesn’t necessarily mean closing the nursery door and letting your baby cry all night. You can decide how much crying you’re comfortable with before offering a soothing song or a comforting rub on the back.

When to start sleep training

Sleep training usually starts when your baby is around 4 to 6 months old. At this age, babies tend to start sleeping for longer periods at night, so it’s a good time to establish some sleep routines. 

If you notice signs that your baby is ready for sleep training, like always resisting sleep, waking up frequently, or not feeling rested after sleep, it’s a good idea to start. 

Sleep training methods

There’s no one way to sleep train, but many parents find that one or a mix of the following sleep training methods works for their families:

Cry it out (CIO)

The cry-it-out method of sleep training, also called the “extinction” method, involves putting your baby to bed and letting baby cry until she falls asleep without any comfort or help from you.

That means as long as you’ve ensured you’ve put your baby to bed with a full tummy and in a safe sleep environment, you won’t go back into the baby’s room until it’s time for the baby to get up the next morning or until she needs to eat next. 

While it may seem harsh, CIO is harder on you than on your little one. With consistency (that’s the key!), your baby should begin falling asleep on its own within three to four nights, give or take.

Ferber method

Not a fan of letting baby cry without some degree of attention and comfort? Try the Ferber method, a type of “graduated extinction” or “check-and-console,” which involves allowing your baby to cry for a set period of time before you check on the baby. 

These timed intervals of crying get longer by a few minutes with each interval until she falls asleep. 

Over several nights, you’ll gradually increase the length of these intervals, reducing your presence in the baby’s room to let your baby do more of the work of settling down. Pretty soon, there’s no need for these comfort check-ins because your baby has learned to self-soothe.

Chair method

The chair method may work better for older babies and might feel more comfortable to you (and your baby) than cry it out or Ferber. Sit in a chair next to your baby’s crib until she falls asleep without picking the baby up. Move the chair farther away each night until you’re near the door and out of the room.

At that point, your baby should be able to fall asleep without you there. However, this method won’t work for babies who can’t put you out of mind until you’re out of sight.

While this technique may be the right fit for some families, it may lead to more tears for some babies. When your baby falls asleep with you in the room, she may be startled and upset when she awakes and you’re no longer there.

Bedtime fading method

Does your little one wail for extended periods of time before falling asleep? Your baby’s body might not be ready for sleep at your desired bedtime. The bedtime fading method can modify baby circadian rhythm to get bedtime to where you want it to be. Here’s how:

• Pay attention to baby’s sleep cues (eye rubbing, yawning, turning away from lights or sound, fussiness).
• Once your baby seems tired, put the baby to bed.
• Hopefully, she’ll fall asleep fast, but if she cries a lot, take her out of the crib for a set amount of time (say, half an hour) and then try again.
• After a few nights of putting baby down at that time, move bedtime 15 minutes earlier and repeat the process with this new bedtime.
• Gradually move bedtime earlier in 15-minute increments until you reach your desired bedtime.

Bedtime fading also sometimes describes any sleep training strategy that involves gradually decreasing a parent’s presence in the baby’s room when putting the baby down to sleep.

Pick up, put down method

This sleep training technique involves you going through your baby’s normal bedtime routine, then putting the baby down to bed drowsy but awake. When and if she cries, wait a few minutes to see if she settles down herself. If not, go in to pick the baby up and soothe baby. When she’s calm again, put the baby back down in the crib or bassinet.

Repeat the process until your baby falls asleep. Just be aware that this sleep training method can take a long time and requires a good deal of patience.

Can you sleep train for naps?

You can apply the same nighttime sleep training strategy for naps. If you’re trying to cry it out or Ferber, keep in mind that after 30 minutes of crying, a good portion of the nap may be gone. So, you may want to set a limit on crying (say, 10 or 15 minutes) before trying another method of getting your baby to sleep.

How long does sleep training take?

After three to four nights of methods like Ferber or cry it out, many babies are sleep trained (save a few minutes of fussing or wails before drifting off).

Other training methods — in particular, bedtime fading, the chair method and pick up, put down — will likely take longer, and some methods won’t work for babies.

Be consistent with the sleep training method you’ve chosen for two weeks to give it a chance to work.

Sleep training tips

No matter what method you’re trying, the following sleep training tips can help ensure a smoother transition to dreamland:

• Establish a bedtime routine. Follow a consistent 30- to 45-minute baby sleep routine to help transition your little one from awake time to sleepy time. And start it early enough that you’ll finish before she becomes overtired. If she’s been falling asleep at the breast or bottle, schedule that feed before the bath or books so you’re able to put baby to bed while she’s still awake.
• Time it right. It’s not the time to tinker with a baby’s sleep when there’s been a recent disruption in the baby’s life (a move, new nanny, ear infection, travel). Wait until things have settled down before attempting sleep training.
• Know when the baby’s tired. Watch for sleep cues like yawning, eye rubbing or crankiness, which may happen around the same time every night. It’s important to put your baby to bed when she’s sleepy but not overtired since overtired babies have a harder time settling down for sleep and are more likely to sleep fitfully or wake early.
• Put baby down awake. Sleep training is based on teaching your baby to fall asleep on baby own — a lesson she won’t get if you rock the baby to sleep in your arms before transferring the baby to the crib.
• Delay your response time. Don’t rush into the baby’s room at the first whimper. Babies make lots of noises at night, including crying and then fall back asleep on their own. Responding to every little noise or cry may wake a nodding-off baby or derail the baby’s efforts to self-soothe.
• Keep nighttime interactions brief. Calmly but quickly do any checks, feeds or diaper changes to avoid overstimulating your baby.

Bottom Line

Sleep training can be a game-changer for you and your baby, paving the way for restful nights. By choosing a method that aligns with your parenting style and your baby’s unique needs, you set the stage for success. Remember that patience and consistency are your best allies on this journey. It’s about creating a nurturing environment where your baby can learn to self-soothe and sleep independently, benefiting the whole family. Trust your instincts, be flexible, and don’t hesitate to seek guidance when needed. With time and dedication, achieving those peaceful nights is well within reach.